Hello Hello Hello
I had an epiphany, an aha. I was troubled and I looked at it. I saw that I was rushing, and I caught it. What was I really in a hurry for? The thought was, “I didn’t make enough money tonight to stay this long and close up.” Ahh. Well that may be valid in valuing my time, but not my energy. Then I thought if I had made money would I still be rushing. Likely. I see that we put things together, justify and defend things in this way. Make something mean something. It’s a trap. So, I wanted to be done, but it’s up to me to have quantitative moments. That’s like saying, now it sucks, but it will be better. There’s no better out there. The better can only be now. There’s no tomorrow, if right now I can’t be right now. Tomorrow will be a log jam from here. Conflict.
I’m declaring, ” I will not be manipulated to make something mean something!” Everyone’s personal insanity. Dig in deeply enough and you can find what you’ve put together that gives you strife.