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It’s all kinds of crazy.. and Michael Moore knows it

You know how when something smells bad, but when you’re in it you get used to it? That’s what it’s like in the States now. I spent 3 months in Spain. Lived on 25 euro, and less a day. This included going out to eat. An incredible meal with wine is 8-15 euro depending. Going to the Mercado Central, spending 20 euro I’d have food for the week to prepare at home. They are fortunate, there is no trip about food. It’s all local, regional, from amazing soil. You are enriched by the earth that you’re standing on. I became sooooo much healthier. I also went to an amazing dentist, a dermatologist, and opthamalogist. You don’t see an opthamalogist here, likely don’t even know who that is, unless you’ve had surgery. They are the ones with all the degrees. She was 50 euro- for the most complete eye exam. The guy who fit me for contact lenses didn’t charge me anything until we ordered the lenses.

Michael Moore’s movie, Where To Invade Next, is just coming out now. He’s showing the amazing things that other countries do for their people. Of course, it’s complicated here in the States.

The first trip to Whole Foods upon returning here, I was sad and mad. Furious that a loaf a bread could cost $11, because it was local and from the little guy. Of course this person had to charge that much. How else? I was sad at how confused everyone must be here and some don’t even know WHY. One week back some little things that had healed, a split in my nails for example, came right back. Weird. I feel it’s about minerals. They have a mineral water that I couldn’t get enough of. I won’t even write its name..it’s so sacred! My friend who brought me to Spain to watch over her pets and apartment, told me before I came that she thought the mineral water was helping her hair. I couldn’t really take it in, I had to experience it.

This post isn’t about bashing the States, or that anyone should move somewhere else. Why are there refugees in Europe? They are not being accepted here, from something initiated here. I’m writing as a reminder. It’s not all personal. You’re not crazy. You’re on your own. In ways that you shouldn’t be. It’s affecting everyone. The quality of life is hard to find cuz it costs more than is correct. The good news is. You’re on your own. You’ve got to dig in deeply and find what’s right for you.

More than ANYTHING that can be written is to focus on what floats your boat. Remember the place inside where you feel some peace. Keep your energy up, as high as possible. This includes the company you keep. If you keep entrenched in the problems that is exactly where your energy goes. This is a choice. I’m not saying it’s effortless. Like I said in the newsletter, our job is to be the LIGHT. So.. What lights you UP?

We have control of our inner world. From a groomed worrier: Stop worrying and find your sweet spot!!!

This is a photo in Peniscola Spain, where they shot the last season of Game of Thrones in September.

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The last week of the year

Take some time before the new year even starts to take stock and reflect on the past year. Take a breath and exhale last year. Instead of a resolution, re-solve what is incomplete. Shining awareness here will open new possibilities.

This is a sober approach to the New Year before the champagne, so you don’t drag the old stuff with you! Instead of just hoping that things will be different or better, sit with yourself and reflect on the past year. It can be brief.

Take this opportunity, while the whole world is positioning itself, to acknowledge and remember where you’ve been, what worked, and where you realize you can do better. There may be many little things that you forgot to celebrate. You are looking at this as an observer so no judgement. With this commitment you will land right into the present moment. Just be with it all as it is. It’s like remembering scenes from a movie that you were in, and now you are watching.

Certainly write down what needs completion. You are facing yourself, and it’s very grounding. Alleviate the overwhelm and pressure of looking ahead by giving this practice its due. It’s a simple task that helps you find your own rhythm. What comes naturally is what you want to experience next year, and you can schedule and be on your way.

You can share some insights with your partner if you’d like, and see what is motivating both of you for the next year. That can be a courageous conversation.

As I did this I sat with anything that was troubling me so I could get a better perspective. So be done with it all, breath out and let go.

Next: Ways to structure the year

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When pursuing leads nowhere..Part two of the Divine Feminine

Taken from Osho’s October newsletter on women:

Recently, Satya Nadella, the new Microsoft CEO, created a storm among working women with his casual statement at the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing: “It’s not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will give you the right raises as you go along.…”

There was uproar among women in the Microsoft Corporation, who are paid overall 78% of what equally qualified men received, and all over the U.S. there were many comments and tweets condemning Nadella’s chauvinistic attitude. This remark in TIME magazine represents the bitterness of all women regarding the gender bias: “Smile pretty and don’t be so unbecoming as to ask for a salary bump. After all, a raise is a lot like a male suitor, and if you pursue it, you might just drive it away.”

When I read this, I had been writing about the divine feminine. I don’t know if a statement has ever felt so nauseating. I don’t feel it’s in the nature of women to pursue. It’s unnatural, and demonstrative of how completely out of whack it all is. It did propel me to look at where I’ve been in this kind of pursuit.  It just makes me shake my head. I can see the pursuit in my own family.

This fall I went to an art studio of a very established older male painter. My friend had worked with him, and she thought that maybe they needed more help on the sales floor and that I may be a good fit there. I went in and I walked through the gallery attempting to take in his work. I finally rounded a corner where only a few paintings were on the wall and there I sat. I began to experience a power in the work. I watched a video about his process. All very inspiring. I then was approached by the head coordinator, a female, and she and I connected beautifully. We walked out toward the painting studio where I met the artist, and something very surprising happened. I started to shift. It was so quick, almost imperceptible. The meeting place of our two energies, took me directly to a role of myself that I knew very well, that I suppose I used as a woman.  But I was watching it. This hadn’t happened in so long. I got such a read on how he was with women, and an even more important read how I had a deep pattern, a created character like Marilyn Monroe, to directly give this guy energy, give him what he wanted. To me this is the pursuit.

My parents were born in the early 20’s, and were very non traditional. I was in constant debate with my father growing up. We challenged each other. I felt completely safe in doing so. Now my mother used to hear from her mother that women were to be seen and not heard. I am one person removed from this attitude.

All I can really say is it is an interesting time to be female. To be anything for that matter. We are busting through stereotypes as fast as we can.  Shedding skins, breathing into personal freedom, longing to be true. I respect the giants of Feminism. I am doing my best to stare this cosmic joke right in the face.  It is deeper than any of us can truly comprehend. To have to defend women on any level is beyond ludicrous. Onward.

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The Last Boomers 1961-1964

The last of the baby boomers turn 50 this month. I have always been fascinated by the generation I was born into, and never knew what it was called, if indeed it was part of the boomers. I am inspired to write about us after reading an article by P.J. O’Rourke. He finds us a bit mysterious, that our part remains quietly obscure. We have seen a lot, and are not sure about commitment. We came of age when deregulation began, and divorce more common- many of us didn’t have kids. We are often living contradictions, not easily impressed, with an inherent sense of rebellion as well as spirituality.

Reincarnated Monks

I met and hung out with a Tibetan monk in the 90’s in the East Village. I adored this little guy yet don’t remember his name. We used to bop around and I was invited to meditation gatherings at his apartment just a few blocks up from mine. He told me that many born between 1961 and 1964 in the States are reincarnated monks. That felt accurate. For myself, and many friends born around the same time. These brilliant seekers kinda in the world who carry a deep longing for something that they themselves aren’t even sure about. Fellow last boomer David Fincher has directed some of the best movies in observation of the illusion of life. The Game, Fight Club, Benjamin Button, and even House of Cards. At least he’s out there with his work. It’s time for the rest of us to come out of hiding.

Some signs of the Last Boomers:

We’ve seen loss, know that nothing is stable, get the illusion better than most, are spiritual without denomination, don’t like to be labeled or pigeon-holed, better yet don’t want to be pressed to commit- we need exit strategies, maybe even those with kids still have a deep desire to be free, have held back, would prefer to live in a monastery but don’t, are watchful, extremely creative, full of wisdom, and have always been looking for the perfect place to live- a Shangri-la.

My siblings are part of the early boomer phase. Many have seemed to be more cause orientated.

Their platform has always seemed more clear, and I along for the ride. On the way to a hiking trail I was with my brother and his friend of the same age, both earlier boomers, while I in the backseat took in their conversation as they spoke of  climate change on the planet and wanting to be off the grid. Although I strongly related to what they were talking about and want to do just that, I feel an almost required duty to be in the world and relevant. Here’s a picture of my brother and his friend as we walked on the Appalachian Trail. The two of them met in Nepal years ago.

Here’s to the boomers!

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Power Conversation featured in Newsletter


This is like a confessional.
I was considering wealth, and what that feels like inside. I saw a fear of abusing power. As I kept looking, I saw the trappings of winning and losing, of competition and sabotage, I heard a voice, that quote, “with great power comes great responsibility”.

Those weren’t my words, but perhaps that’s where the fear was. Proof that second hand material can be misleading. What’s real power? Responsible to what? If I am really empowered I am clear about what I’m responsible to. The last thing I would want is to create dependency, and attachments to others. It dawned on me that as I truly step in to teaching that I would not want to create interdependence in any way, but  an inter relating where we share and celebrate gifts and talents. I was a healthy competitor when I played sports. Playing for the sport of it, not for myself.

What I began to sense was not about personal power, but creating an empowered atmosphere. This would help clarify intent. Understanding ones motivation and the ability to communicate it directly is key. All you can really own is your intent, your motivation. You can’t even own ideas. As an idea is born to you it’s already “out there”.  The wrong perspective of power wants to collect, own, and bully. The tower reminding me once again that letting go gets easier as you know yourself, as you truly face yourself, and you commit to being responsible. You stop clutching. You can let go. Why hold on? I am also reminded that I’ve been clearing a lot of stuff out again, and have seen family heirlooms in a new light. I’ll say I’m less attached. I remember when my mother didn’t want to be the custodian anymore. On retrospect things can be a burden.

That original quote is backwards, and so is society. Perhaps it was relevant once upon a time. Power is not a station you inherit, but a state of being you earn through experience.

New quote
“With great responsibility comes great power.” It’s an inside job first. So is true wealth.

My mission
To create an empowered atmosphere whereby personal truth and intent are made clear.

I just recently finished the Power Journal. It’s the misfits guide from pdf to physical form. It’s awesome. I’ve been doing it myself for final edits, mostly I’m using it to help me launch it! Well, it’s working. The way I go about this inner exploration is the undercurrent of the Power Journal.

I have come to this perspective. Individuals are a space for power, they can cause it. If someone is truly powerful, they command it. They own themselves. That cannot be taken away.

Art work at the top…by K Puss,  super heroine….This is her power belt!

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Putting two things together that don’t go: Conflict

Hello Hello Hello

I had an epiphany, an aha. I was troubled and I looked at it. I saw that I was rushing, and I caught it. What was I really in a hurry for? The thought was, “I didn’t make enough money tonight to stay this long and close up.”  Ahh. Well that may be valid in valuing my time, but not my energy. Then I thought if I had made money would I still be rushing. Likely. I see that we put things together, justify and defend things in this way. Make something mean something. It’s a trap. So, I wanted to be done, but it’s up to me to have quantitative moments. That’s like saying, now it sucks, but it will be better. There’s no better out there. The better can only be now. There’s no tomorrow, if right now I can’t be right now. Tomorrow will be a log jam from here. Conflict.

I’m declaring,  ” I will not be manipulated to make something mean something!” Everyone’s personal insanity. Dig in deeply enough and you can find what you’ve put together that gives you strife.

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My first repost ever..look at the date.. This is a life teaching

The Power of Visualization

by Administrator on April 1, 2009

The following Zen story illustrates third eye visioning in action. A master craftsman in ancient China was commissioned by the emperor to make a cabinet for the emperor’s bedroom in the Imperial Palace. The craftsman, a Zen monk, told the emperor he would not be able to begin work for five days. The monk was seen by the emperor’s spies simply sitting, apparently doing nothing for the entire time. Then, when five days had passed, the monk got up. Within three days, he had made the most extraordinary cabinet anyone had ever seen. The emperor was so pleased and so curious that he had the monk brought before him and asked what he had been doing the five days before he had begun his work. And this is what the monk said

  1. All the first day I spent releasing every thought of fear or failure, of dread of punishment if my work should displease the emperor.
  2. All the second day I spent releasing every thought of inadequacy and every belief that I might lack the skill to produce a cabinet worthy of the emperor.
  3. All the third day, I spent releasing every hope and desire for fame, glory and reward if I should produce a cabinet that would please the emperor
  4. All the fourth day, I spent releasing the pride that might arise in me if I should succeed in my task and earn the praise of the emperor.
  5. And all the fifth day, I spent beholding in the mind the clear vision of that cabinet which I knew even an emperor would desire, which now stands before you.
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Decide!

~To decide is the way of the intellect~

STAY with me!!!…

The runaway train of thoughts, images, and feelings, leaving us everywhere and nowhere. So old and crazy making. That’s the world following the unstable mind. But the intellect, a finely tuned instrument, the lab of analysis turns toward awareness. We harness here, we position and prepare our deepest desires to bring them to light.

It takes tremendous discipline, it takes tremendous courage to think for yourself, to examine yourself. – Dr Cornel West

Let’s focus here on making a decision from the deepest place in our being. I truly believe that this is where it’s at. This is when a life worth living starts. This makes sense. The teaching that there is a river of destiny, that our life is mapped out. We become mistaken thinking our little decisions and actions really change the true course of our lives. These little decisions simply accelerate or delay desired outcome.

Finally!!! A decision is made as though our life depends on it. I live for that. That is something to be passionate about. Heart and intellect in concert like a laser beam. The resolute heart and intellect have come together with purpose clearly bringing destiny into focus, not just flailing about. We feel like we are changing the course of our lives, because we are. We are finally in the river, propelled by a powerful decision, instead of holding on to the shore of doubt.

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MYOB Monday: how’s your sleep?

I have quite a checklist as to what informs me regarding my environment.

This feels potent: The direction you sleep. Head at the South, feet at the North. This is encouraged due to the magnetic pulls on the planet. Energy collects in the Northeast direction of ones home.

If any energy feels off, start here.

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Fridays, day to recap and celebrate

So much of our time is preparation, so much is routine, and so much retrospect, that the path of a man’s genius contracts itself to a very few hours. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Interested in traditional medicine? Folk medicine is seen as alternative, even though it’s older and stores great wisdom. We are going to look at Friday. Once upon a time, days of the week were thought of in relation to their governing planets. Friday is the day of Venus. We think of her as love, and in astrology she governs wealth in ones chart.

Here’s some lore to set yourself up for success: Get up between 4:30 and 5:30 a.m. on Friday, meditate, pray, give thanks to the Goddess Lakshmi to enhance wealth.

In the tarot I equate Lakshmi with the Wheel of Fortune, so putting this into my own language… Do what ever you can to center yourself, clear yourself to be prepared for success and opportunities.

Why this? Who hasn’t had the experience of not being ready for a golden opportunity that has come knocking?

Use Friday, or any other day, just make sure you take time to do it, and clear yourself out. Complete with things and with strong intentions prepare yourself. What’s the saying about luck? Luck favors the prepared. Fortune favors the prepared mind.

Clear your own space with intention by recapping your week. Complete wherever you can. Consider what you want. You are removing anything in your thought process that is in the way of this. Free up for the weekend, and the week ahead. See what needs your attention. Then celebrate successes of the week. It’s all about the celebration.